A Very Visibly Vexing Valentine’s

Today wasn’t really a good day.

Normally, there was at least something for him to smile about on Valentine’s Day, but that wasn’t the case this year.

Not for a legally separated young man staying with his constantly busy in-laws.


Shark stared at the oriental-flavored ramen still in the bowl, just absentmindedly swirling it about. He could at least be thankful that Harwood wasn’t there; the last thing he wanted was to be scolded about what he’d been hiding in his room.

It was probably a good thing that Harwood’s birthday was on the 14th of February. Not to mention Marc and the others could maybe keep him in check while they were out.

Shark had thought about asking to go with them, but he didn’t get the chance to that morning; everyone was gone when he’d woken up.

Letting out a big sigh, Shark just tried his best to finish it, and got up. As he did, he watched the dogs dig in to their own meals.


He couldn’t help but envy them, and at the same time miss his own dogs even more. He was starting to miss how at least one of the dogs would jump onto his bed and nestle in between him and Sinbad.

Shark even missed how one of the dogs (usually Beefy) would then cut one, causing Sinbad to wake up and think Shark did it.

It showed just how long he’d been gone from home, if he longed for one of the dogs farting.


It just wasn’t really the same with Scotchka and Harwoof.


Shark’s miserable mood only worsened when he checked his phone, and found no messages. Screenshot-8

There were no oddly sweet messages from Sinbad, no pictures of the dogs in heart-print sweaters, no texts from any of his other relatives, nothing.

He’d tried calling them to see if they would answer him that way, but nothing came from that.

Shark just stared frustratedly at his phone when he picked up Dennis’ voicemail for the third time.


Greetings to you, fine caller!’ Dennis’ voice rang out. ‘If you’re listening to this, either I’ve misplaced my phone, or my idiot brother ate it again! Do leave a message, and hopefully my phone is still functional after they extract it from Bill’s lower intestine!’

“Dad, you really need to update your voicemail,” Shark began, this time actually doing what the recording suggested. “Other than that, I just wanted to say ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ to you and Mom. Oh, and Hawkeye and Brownie too.

“Oh, and if you see Sinbad today, tell him the same thing, and…And I love him and the dogs and uh…”

He couldn’t really think of anything else to say. “I don’t know. Tell him I’ll talk to him soon.

“And I guess I’ll talk to you again soon too, Dad.”

Shark then finished his recording, and turned his phone off. He stared at it a little longer, before heading back into the house.


Perhaps he could at least sleep part of this depressing holiday away.

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